"you ain't never had a friend like me"

I don't know how to put this, but I'm a pretty... eccentric person. I've got more quirks in my left pinky finger than anyone should have in their entire body. It's all crammed in there. Might as well call me Zooey Deschanel (except take away the stupid bangs and the huge eyes and the fact that I don't look like Katy Perry). If I weren't me, I wouldn't want to put up with me.

You know who does want to put up with me? My favorite little peanut and very best friend, Emily. In fact, this kiddo put up with me for an entire night last weekend instead of going to her senior prom (because I did the same for her instead of going to mine! Soul mates and true love, am I right?). She put me up for the night on a couch in her room and fed me salad and took me to a really rad local festival (where we tried to stalk people I know... I mean, what?) and let me watch the Doctor Who season finale on her tv which is considerably larger than mine.

Aren't we cute (or really creepy looking, whichever works)? Like, it is really a wonder that I am single because I'm soo photogenic. 

Oh, but she paid the price in dealing with quirkiness. And in me trying to take selfies of us and totally cutting myself out of the shot. So, thanks, little kitten pumpkin cup.

Thanks for dealing with me when I...

• ...told you I wanted to kidnap the little girl in the restaurant. I was kidding (sort of) (maybe) (she was really cute, okay?).
• ...passive aggressively took forever to order because I felt like the guy working there was annoyed with waiting for me and trying to rush me. 
• ...announced in front of several other people that the grass we were sitting on was stabbing me in the vagina. 
• ...asked you if we could roll down a hill. A hill that had several people on it. In fact, this might have been the hill with the lax bros and dogs on it. The lax bros with dogs who just wanted to check us out. 
• ...panicked in your car because your parents might ask me a question I didn't know the answer to when I met them. Even though they didn't ask me any questions. 
• ...turned a simple count of how many people we knew that we saw into a massive competition of who could see more people they knew. 
• ...laughed so hard I couldn't breathe when you told me you wanted to go to bed because I was remembering the guy in the wifebeater who tried to hit on you and when I told you that it was better to eat off a table that had been rained on than "peed on by a hobo." 
• ...told you being rained on was better than being peed on by a hobo in the first place.
• ...walked down a busy street crouched over with my hand in between my legs alternately with walking with my legs spread as far apart as possible. 
• ...took numerous pictures of you while you were talking to me and then told you how "pretty" (so not pretty at all) you looked in them. 
• ...posted one of these pictures on the internet for the world to see (this one, I think, is the fan favorite. It's so blurry, and you seriously look possessed... it hurts too much not to share). 

You rule! Also, 200 perfect princess points for anyone if you picked up my Aladdin quote for a title because, as we know, that's my favorite movie. 

xoxo, kristina